Tired ….

Just over 6 years ago my family had a devastating loss, my youngest brother at the age of 9, passed away from a rare form of cancer.  Less than six months later we started a memorial foundation, our goal was to raise money for research into the type of cancer he had and for the first few years we did it together, all of us as a family.  The last three years it’s been my Mom and I doing EVERYTHING.  With the economy floundering, no one has any money to donate or buy tickets etc.  We nickel and dime everything, well my Mom is always wanting to do this and do that, but the problem is it’s now costing us more to run it than to actually do it.  I keep trying to convince my Mom to join with the American Cancer Society so we can get more help with things, even be able to get our name out there, but she keeps resisting and keeps wanting me to spend money to get this and get that, well we just cant do it anymore.


I’m so tired of doing this, and how terrible is that?  But we both work full time and now I am going to college on line and have an infant.  I suppose part of me is resentful as well that she seems so hell bent on this when she’s never really spent a lot of time with any of the rest of us. But how do I tell her?  How do I tell her I don’t want to do this anymore? Am I being disrespectful to my brothers memory by wanting to join another faction that does the same thing? I think we should have things and just donate the entire amount we make to CHOP or to American Cancer Society. I don’t know, I am just so tired and frustrated with her.


Somebody let me out of this crazy place!

On Tuesday, October 25th, our little one turned 9 months old.  She’s standing up now and our guess is that within a few weeks or a month or so she’ll be trying to take her first steps. They grow so fast.


You know, I’m so tired of hearing about people harming their own children. You carry them in your body for 9 months after making them, intentionally or unintentionally, if you don’t want your child then give them to someone who will love and cherish them as the innocents they are.


If that woman really hurt that baby Lisa, I hope when she gets to jail someone hurts her.  I really do.  It makes me sick to my stomach thinking that someone hurt that baby, especially possibly her mother.  When I look at my 9 month old and my 14 year old daughters, I can’t imagine ever harming them.  I’d give my life to protect them before I’d ever lay a hand on either one of them in anger or frustration.


So much for a happy, how are ya kind of first blog post.